I don’t need to talk with you through this medium but I
can’t get over my OCD of documenting my life. When I shall look back at this
once we turn wrinkly, it will never fail to make me smile, laugh and cry. You
may be thinking what made me write today for you. I came across the song, “Tere Jaisa Yaar Kahan” from the movie Yaarana today, but the cover version by Rahul
Jain. How can it not make me remember you, after all it’s about dosti!
You are the only one till date I have spoken tons, so much
that I did not even with my parents. We
crossed each others’ path at an age where great friendship is rare because we
had already seen true colors of people in this world. Yet there was nothing or
no one who could stop the birth of our friendship.
Can you tell me why are we still friends who do not require
words to elaborate our thoughts? I have no answer to it. Okay, let me put down
few points-
Our compatibility. No, wait. If compatibility was the reason
we would have been life partners.lol.
The fact is reverse. Our ways of thinking are not in sync
but we 'listen' to them unbiased. I have never opinionated you. I have never
judged, neither you have me. Our ability to be with each other in differences
is what keeping this relation alive.
You crossed the topmost point on your bucket list - getting
me fermented. That's an EPIC success for you!
Our stupidity burrowed the well of regret and instead of
crying out to each other, we both fell into it. Will we ever get out?
I am sorry that I kept you out of my life for certain time
phase. I was such a fool not confiding all to you when you were and are the one
who can catch me behind the mask I wear. I lost those years without you and I
am extremely ashamed of myself to keep you waited all those years even after
knowing we can always be with each other. No matter what!
This is getting emotional. Let me vent though. I can't carry
this burden within me. We knew the path we were walking on but it came
unexpectedly, may be too early or too late or at the right time I must say.
I am walking over this path happily but I am also passing by
insecurities and jealousy - the black masked emotions that has the power to
ruin man. I can't get through them. It is turning out to be more difficult than
I presumed. These emotions might kill us.
I have to let you go. This time I am being selfish. I have
decided to give the pen to fate who shall write the story for us. I will
persevere to read it. Life has already conspired against us, I can only wait to
read the book fate will compose.
This is getting too emotional, ain't it? My birthright is to
pester you for lifetime and not this. You gave me back my lost muse. I can
never be like C but she always will be my inspiration.
I may never find myself in your words but I am happy enough
to be in your smile, a real one and not the fake.
I have nothing better to end this letter than the lyrics of
the song mentioned earlier.
Tere jaisa yaar kahan
Kahan aisa yaarana
Yaad karegi duniya
Tera mera afsana
Meri zindagi sawaari
Mujhko gale lagake
Baitha diya falak pe
Mujhe khaat se oothake
Yaara teri yaari ko
Maine to khuda mana
Yaad karegi duniya
Tera mera afsana
Yours forever,
you may never find a friend like me ever :P
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