No Resolutions but My Word of the Year #woty 2018

Last day of January is here (is it me or this month passed way too fast than the whole of 2017) and I can still define the Word of the Year #woty. For the matter of fact, you can start anything new at any given point of life because I have begun to believe in: ‘TODAY is the first day of the rest of your life’.  I have talked about ‘Keeping Yourself First’ in the post: 2017 – The Year that was.

I am taking it forward by defining last year’s theme now as: Self-Love.

self-love
noun

1. regard for one's own well-being and happiness.

Remember that self-love is nowhere a synonym for narcissism. They can never be used one for the other. Self-love is a practice. Every day!

I had “given” a lot for others, for them to be happy and contented in past few years. While giving is not bad but I got carried away far too much where it became sacrificing myself, my happiness. I got to give a loud *smirk* here when I realised people can never be contented with what they have.

Relationships do not work on:

•         Manipulating each other’s feelings
•          Blackmailing emotions
•         Taking for granted

I was so lost and doomed in depression it was a great struggle to come out of it. What kept me alive were not people or circumstances. It was all me, within me. I am still learning to live through it every single day.

I would like to suggest 30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself. I read one thing each day. They are little things which we often forget in the big picture of life.

Small little things each day bring happiness.

I neither have a particular motivational guru nor I read self-help books. I absorb words filled with wisdom be it by anyone. I admire few people and I must say they deserve the place they are! Priyanka Chopra (you ought to listen her talk on Breaking the Glass), Oprah Winfrey, Will Smith, Steve Jobs, Karan Johar, Twinkle Khanna.

Let me define what ‘Self-Love’ means for me apart from the ‘pamper time’ or ‘Me time’:

1. I love and admire the way I look. Believe me ‘being comfortable in our own skin’ is a struggle for most of us in this era. I never had a healthy skin due to many illnesses that hit me during adolescence.

I was ridiculed for my skin color and the way I looked. It took years to come out of the self-loathing zone.

I am 30 now and let me tell you I have never been so confident.

• Yes my face does have acne, which does not deter my spirit, whatsoever.
•  I have grey hairs. A LOT OF THEM and the salon people pester me to color them but I am not ashamed stepping out with the greys.
• I have dark circles because I am in front of PC for almost 8 hours daily and I read before sleep. I cannot stop working. I cannot give up reading or writing because they are my passion and how can one live without them!

2. I choose the clothes which I like. I choose the food I love to eat. I do not go to places where I do not want to. Learning to say no for me is self-love.

3  3.  I have given up self-pity when people question about “when are you planning to have kids? Or what is the problem? Or what’s wrong?”

I have stopped all the shit and crap affecting me.  I love my body. It is the temple I live in. If my body is not able to carry a baby within doesn’t mean I should curse it or allow someone else to ‘talk’ about it. (I will dedicate a different post on infertility in near future)

I would like to tell everyone out here its true infertility sucks the happiness out but it is not the end of the world!

4  4. I cannot please each and everyone or make someone love me. If you cannot accept me the way I am then I won’t waste my time in pleading you to like me. I would definitely do not act which might hurt but changing myself altogether, NAH! I have given up that attitude.

I have come to the conclusion:

No Matter What!
People will judge you. Manipulate you. Dump you. Drain you. Break you.
 What only matters:
Rise. Learn from past.

5  5. Live in the moment. Work hard today. Let go of the dark past. Make time for hobbies. Learn something new. Bad time will always be around the corner, you cannot escape it. Be blunt at times. Be fierce and let the adventure begin.

Images source: Unsplash