Friday, October 25, 2013

I, Me, Myself!

WARNING:  This is not a come back post or a post saying How much I miss this place. I am not suffering from writer's block as everything is in my head but I just can't put it down. This was written quite sometime back; its an incomplete post but I guess the words wanted to feel there presence in this web world.

The words in the image individually don't stand strong unless they are bonded together in a sentence. Same is with life.




Are you happy? Are you content and satisfied in life? Hmm...
The answer to these questions can't be "I don't know".

The great minds say,'You should be satisfied and content with your life' or is it' Life must be about contentment and satisfaction'??? Are both one and the same?

What I feel is there is always 'but' even if the answer to the questions is a 'Yes', there's that bit of unsatisfied feeling, 'tiny little bit' that remains. Ohhh Yes! I am selfish. I Love Myself. Don't You love yourself?

Self Love is the soul of living.Of course there is a thin line between self love and selfishness that can hurt others.

This post is not a vent but is about the unanswered questions in my ever babbling mind. It cropped up after reading thought provoking writings by few of you, my fellow bloggers.

And a part of this post would be the reply to the comments on my previous post.

"There comes a time when the past memories becomes the present regrets
And you realize that the beautiful past was not that beautiful after all..." written by Beyond. I was never familiar with the regret feeling. But as time went by, it started to haunt me. (side effects of growing up I guess) It throttles me,suffocates me. KILLS me without actual killing and that what hurts a lot...A LOT!!! Photos!Journal! The passports to the old memories. I tore them, deleted them. But do they actually get erased? Even with the 10 % brain that functions don't allow me to FORGET those memories.

Till Eternity...By Serendipity  Its such a tender feeling that comes up after reading this. With all the odds and the thoughts that differ you from the other person and still being together by the end of each day, is what I will say being in Love. 

What if compromise start becoming synonym for adjustment? How far can you change for others to survive in the relations? If I don't recognize the reflection staring back at me when I look in the mirror, then I have lost myself. 

I do believe in Karma. "कर्म किये जा, फल की इच्छा मत कर" But what if I deserve that fruit and don't get it? And if I do,what if its too late?If I am standing near my grave? Can then I say "Yes!!! I was/am satisfied with life"? Sometimes I feel the Kalyug version of the saying about 'Karma' might be true..."Karma is a..." ! I am lazy to press shift and asterisk sign for the word. I know you got that!!!

No! I am not disoriented. Confused! might be. But not at all disoriented. I know where I am, what I am doing with my life. The way I am leading life is the consequence of my thinking. Questions are all we have...Eon Heath. And see, I have put up many of them in this post too.

"aaja tujhko pukaare teri parchaayiyaa" *sigh* Such a beautiful line from the lyrics! There is a scene in the movie where Deepika Padukone asks Ranbir Kapoor to dip his legs in the pool. The water being shivering cold he withdraws his legs. She then says, 'thodi der, baadmein mein theek lagne lagega' Same with life, right? We become so used to few things that we stop realizing how much it had hurt earlier.

P.S. Wanted to write more but I shall stop here.






13 comments:

Eon Heath said...

Heyya Poonam.doc

Bas Eon Heath?? :O koi adjectives nahi??!! :O :O :O

There are answers to all the questions that life poses. The test is, which one we choose. One choice is what our society labels as "Ethical" and the other is what we want. The fruits of Karma may be borne tomorrow, "but" what if that tomorrow never comes? Precisely what you said.

As its said, its where the "but" comes that matters...
'its great, but...'
'...but, its great!'

So, think it over....


Eon


p.s.- CAPTCHA?? really? -_-

Beyond Horizon said...

Woh main zara serious mood mein thi na that's why no adjectives :P :D

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

When the deluge swells, let it spill. Those who have to read will, those who don't have to, won't. :-)

Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete

Beyond Horizon said...

I used to write so that others would read it in initial days of blogging. Those days are gone long back.

I write because I want to, when the feeling comes to hold the pen;the words just flow...

:)

Vijeta Biradar said...

Your love for words, you write to acknowledge this feeling and not for others... :)

Your thoughts in this post your quest your feelings say one thing... the writer in you has LOTS to say...

Waiting!


astrosunilnomy said...

i watched the mocie, but never really took a moment to realize that feeling which you said in the post, loved the post & would like to add on to -someone explained the meaning or accept & adjust , accept means to be ok with the things without any complaints or regrets, learn to be happy with it anyway. never ever complain ever after many years or in your words even when standing near grave. 'Adjust' means to be ok with things as of now. its alright if you complaint or shout or scold god about it later on in life. its very important to classify things in our lives to accept or adjust. this understanding give clear meaning to situations to deal with our personal lives.

Beyond Horizon said...

@Vijeta
You know it best ;)

@Sunil
Thank you for that explanation. There are few things present in life because of acceptance and others due to adjustment.

the other side of me said...

Glad to see you back here.. I hope the stay is longer this time.. Sometimes life is full adjustment, we can just wish it's not like that all the time.. And write your hearts out :)

Love you

Beyond said...

I read this blog sometime back but was not able to get the right words to comment.
Read this today:
In the middle of life's battles. The bullets flying at you. Confused. Mind panics. Gives up. Ahhhhh ..here comes Intuition!

Beyond Horizon said...

@TOSM: I wish that all the time my little friend ;)

@Beyond: That is indeed a great read. Thanks for sharing.

RM said...

How can it be .. every time I read you. it is like you are saying what I wanted to but did not find the right words.... I am here Today coz I kinda fear losing this part of me.... I want to recognize the reflection looking back at me years from now...

God bless, I can not word what I got from your write up, but certainly something that I was looking for, my be an echo.

Menachery said...

I miss reading your posts Poonam!!!!

Beyond Horizon said...

@RM: I am honored. What more could I ask for if you find your echo in my written words.

@Tinu
I am, I am back :)